


back in our early days

by Werepirechick



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Childhood Friends, Coming of Age, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, Gen, Growing Apart, M/M, Mutual Pining, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Discovery, also known as Raihan Pines For Over A Decade, and how rose singlehandedly broke up the band and made them sad, gist of things: this is the backstory of the quartet, i'll add a sequel fic after this one is done so we can have the post-canon reunion, nasty bastard man keeping leon from his friends and fam :///, that's @ rose
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22487887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werepirechick/pseuds/Werepirechick
Summary: It’s only been two months since everything went down. Raihan cannot believe how much his friend has changed in that short period of time.He’s pushing through the throngs of people before he realizes, driven by the singular need totalk with his friend.Raihan is shouting his friend’s name as he breaks through, totally focused up until everyone’s attention abruptly snaps onto him.Raihan gulps, faltering for a second. Leon is looking at him though, surprise written all over his face. So he pushes through the sudden nerves coiling in him, forcing his voice to remain steady as he speaks the first thing he can think of to keep Leon in one spot for longer than a split second:“I- I challenge you to a battle!”Raihan blurts, resisting the urge to facepalm.
Relationships: Dande | Leon & Rose | Chairman Rose, Dande | Leon/Kibana | Raihan, Kibana | Raihan & OFC as Family, Raihan & Leon & Sonia & Nessa, Slight Nessa/Sonia
Comments: 16
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i have never played a vidya gaem in my life. i'm purely a casual poke-anime fan and fandom-adjacent participant. 100% of the information & characterization in this fic is due to my dear friend rhi's knowledge of pokemon.
> 
> anyway, forgive any fudges or mistakes in this story. i've just ended up very invested in these characters. oh and fyi i know flygon is a boy in canon, let's just pretend he's a he/him lesbian since i accidentally wrote trapinch with female pronouns lol.

It’s a gradual transition, which sucks, because by the time Raihan notices what’s happening it’s already too late.

The post-victory high lasts about a week or so. Raihan is _ecstatic_ for Leon, honest, and he boasts on his friend’s behalf every chance he gets with other trainers. _The youngest Galar Champion ever, can you believe?_ Raihan always knew his friend was going to be amazing- they’ve grown up together, began their training together. Leon has always shone brightly; now the rest of the world sees it, too.

Raihan can admit to being a little envious of his friend, privately speaking, but he’s far prouder of Leon.

Stupidly, Raihan thinks it’ll all go back to normal, once the media craze dies down. That he and Leon and Nessa and Sonia will get right back to their training together, even if Leon’s journey is already complete.

After the first week, though, Raihan is a tad lonely, feeling impatient to at least _talk_ with Leon, and so he calls. The first real sign that things have changed happens, then.

“ _He’s not home,”_ says Leon’s mom, with Hop’s cooing in the background of the phone call. She continues on from there, saying that Leon is out, again, and training somewhere under the supervision of Chairman Rose. She says Leon is booked for said training for the next few weeks. She says she can take a message, if Raihan wants.

“Uh… just ask him if he wants to hang out?” Raihan says, ending it like a question, thrown by the conversation. “Just- yeah, let him know I called, I guess.”

Trapinch pushes against his shins as Raihan hangs up the phone. She gives him an intuitive look, clacking her sharp jaws.

“He’s just busy,” Raihan tells her, “being the champ is a lot of work. It’s cool.”

Trapinch looks doubtful. She nibbles at his pant leg, bored of waiting for Raihan to take her outside.

“Okay, _okay,_ we’re going, I’m sorry. So sue me for wanting to eat breakfast before hiking.”

“You’re heading out?” asks his mom, poking her head out from the office room. She’s getting ready for the day, too, with her makeup done and her headscarf hung on her shoulders, ready to be worn.

Trapinch nibbles more insistently at his pants. Raihan pushes her away with his foot, replying, “Yeah, gonna hike for a while. Maybe hangout with my friends if they’re in town.”

His mom hums, then smiling brightly, her fanglike teeth flashing. “Well, keep your phone charged, and you know the curfew. We’ll be in the far south wing today; feel like dropping by for lunch?”

“Sure.” Raihan goes over to her, getting a quick kiss on the forehead and a hug. “See you later, love you.”

“Love you, too,” she says warmly. She goes back to collecting important files in the office; Raihan ducks into his room to grab his backpack and favorite sneakers. Coming back out, hurrying for the door, he bumps into the waist of someone exiting the kitchen.

“ _Whoa,_ kiddo. Watch my sightline, remember?” Raihan’s short dreads are ruffled. He grins up at the lazy smile of his mama, who is far less ready for work than her wife. Still in her pajamas, holding a cup of coffee.

“Sorry,” Raihan apologizes. He bounces on his toes, trapinch’s chatter matching his rising energy. “We’re goin’ out right now, and I wanna get done before lunchtime, so we can come see you guys.”

“Oh, well in that case.” His mama stoops from her 6’5 height and gives him a loud kiss on the cheek. “Go get ‘im, baby. D’you wanna take Sediment with you?”

Raihan briefly considers the idea, then discards it and shakes his head firmly _no._ “I’m a trainer now, mama. I don’t need a babysitter for _hiking_ anymore.” A trip into the wild areas, however…

His mama laughs, low and soft. “Fair enough. See you later, little man.”

She lets him run out the door, and Raihan stops one last time to say goodbye to one more family member. “You’re napping already?” he teases Sediment, his mama’s sandaconda, who is sunning himself on the front steps and being a total trip hazard.

Sediment flickers his tongue out at Raihan. He pats the old sleepy reptile on the head, gently stroking the smooth scales there. He leaves their cozy cottage home at a light jog, working up for the incline of the nearby hills. The last of the fog is evaporating in the sunlight, the grass hardly damp anymore. Trapinch trots faithfully next to him, keeping up despite her short legs.

It’s easier to put his disappointment about Leon’s unavailability behind him, getting his blood pumping and feeling the rewarding burn of his muscles. Raihan only just started getting serious- or, more serious- about his training. Having his best friend become _the champion_ has lit a fire in him, pushing aside the formerly chill approach Raihan had to things.

He’s not as determined as Nessa is, maybe, but Nessa is one of the most intense people he knows, so there’s no comparison there. And then there’s Sonia, who is _also_ wicked determined, if about different things… Raihan grimaces wryly, noting that out of all his friends, he’s the one who’s had the most laidback attitude about pokemon training.

Maybe that’s why Leon beat the champion right off, and Nessa’s already gotten a pokemon to its secondary evolution, and Sonia is five times smarter than anyone else. Jeez, he’s got a lot of ground to cover before he catches up.

Raihan picks up the pace of his jog, trapinch doggedly following.

-/-

Raihan is familiar with off-path routes around town. His moms have taken him on trips to digs plenty of times before, plopping him into the coils of Sediment for babysitting when things got busy. He likes knowing shortcuts and tricky secret spots, things that not many other local trainers his age know.

As for his friends, Nessa doesn’t go out of her way to find shortcuts. Leon just gets straight up _lost_ if he deviates even slightly from a road (and even then, he’ll sometimes get lost). Sonia knows a few, but she’s always finding them on accident.

Like today, when Raihan nearly trips over her in the bushes, startling her, himself, trapinch, and yamper.

“Crap! Sorry, are you okay?” Raihan asks, getting off of his friend. Sonia looks a bit rattled, but recovers quickly as she shakes twigs out of her hair.

“Raihan?” she asks, surprised as he is, but smiling easily.

“Duh.” He sticks out a hand and hauls her to her feet. He looks over the grass stains and mud on her clothes, laughing not unkindly. “What’re you doing out here in the bushes, dude?”

“Oh! I was following the tracks of a pokemon, and then I found a cluster of rare mushrooms, and then I saw a chikorita run by, which is _so weird,_ they’re hardly ever found in this region, so I followed it and…” She glances around, then shrugging. “I guess I ended up here, somehow. I should be able to find my way back.”

Sonia. One of the smartest people Raihan knows. Also, one of the most distracted. “You sure?” he asks, grinning fondly. “I don’t mind a detour off our route.”

“I’m fine, don’t worry,” Sonia says, waving him off. Raihan glances down at her family’s yamper, who is sitting at her feet, looking as exasperated as a pokemon can. Whatever reason Sonia is out as early in the day as she is, this probably isn’t the first time this has happened today.

Raihan gives her a fifty-fifty chance of getting sidetracked on the way back.

They have a brief chat about them all meeting up today, maybe. Do some sparring with their pokemon and compare their progress. Raihan asks Sonia if she’s heard from Leon at all, if she knows when he’ll be around again. She frowns slightly, replying with a negative.

Well, worth asking, anyway.

Raihan keeps going with his morning hike. The point of them is to increase trapinch’s stamina and speed, as well as endurance. It’s doing the same thing for him, which is a bonus. His growth spurt is really starting to creep up on him, making his legs and back ache at night.

He meets up with his moms for lunch, eating together in one of the many wings of Hammerlocke Castle. The winding halls and arching ceilings are as familiar to him as the surrounding wilds; Raihan has grown up in both environments in equal measures. Other kids his age (especially Leon) sometimes despair how confusing the ancient structure is, recounting multiple times they’ve gotten lost.

Raihan hasn’t ever been lost in Hammerlocke, or in its forests. It’s big, sure, and kind of cold in places, and smells like dust everywhere, but he’s never been lost in it. With how much time he’s spent in it over the years, it’s as much his home as their cottage outside of town.

Raihan leaves his mothers to finish their work, cataloguing a new collection of Galar artifacts sent by researchers. He strolls through the far extended hallways of Hammerlocke Castle, following directions he knows by heart. They come out close to the center of town, going from there.

He meets up with Nessa, who is just finishing up a casual battle with another local trainer. She gives him a smug smile and flips her braids over her shoulder, proud of herself. Raihan applauds and says, _“Hope you still have energy for another battle later,”_ to which she replies, _“You could only be so lucky.”_

So intense, so mature. He makes her giggle-snort over something dumb the first chance he gets.

They chill out with slushies until Sonia rolls around, and they get to group training after that. Raihan snaps a selfie of them all together at the end, roughed up and sweaty and smiling wide. He sends it to Leon, who has been AFK all day.

He gets a much-delayed reply, in the evening, and it’s a brief one. Raihan still grins at the dorky emojis Leon adds to his text.

Rinse and repeat. Wake up, dress, eat, go for a run, train with trapinch, train with his friends. Catch a handful of moments with Leon as he goes between appointments and meetings and all sorts of weird stuff. Rinse and repeat, but with slower replies from Leon over text, less chances to snag him for so much as a hello.

Things continue like that, on and on. It sucks, the day Raihan wakes up and suddenly Leon’s absence has become the new normal.

-/-

It’s a long time before they see each other again, and when they finally do, it’s by chance.

Raihan is passing by a popular beginner trainers’ area. Somewhere to practice throwing pokeballs and bonding with starters. There’s an unusually large crowd around the place, which makes him pause.

A flash of velvet red catches his eye. Raihan’s curiosity takes a sharp turn into stunned surprise, seeing his best friend amidst the crowd of onlookers, sporting a red cape and a uniform he’s never seen him wear before. The former Champion’s signature look, if with the addition of the _cape, what the hell, Leon?_

Leon’s usually carefully braided hair is fluffed out and loose. Raihan thinks his _eyebrows_ are different, sculpted by a makeup tech. Leon is beaming widely, striking a pose with younger trainers for a wall of cameras. It takes Raihan a full moment to reconcile the celebrity he’s looking at with the person he’s known for years.

Leon is a semi-introverted, tidy, sweet natured person. The Galar Champion is acting boisterous with the crowd he stands in, gleaming in the sunlight and strutting about.

It’s only been two months since everything went down. Raihan cannot believe how much his friend has changed in that short period of time.

He’s pushing through the throngs of people before he realizes, driven by the singular need to _talk with his friend._ Raihan is shouting his friend’s name as he breaks through, totally focused up until everyone’s attention abruptly snaps onto him.

Raihan gulps, faltering for a second. Leon is looking at him though, surprise written all over his face. So he pushes through the sudden nerves coiling in him, forcing his voice to remain steady as he speaks the first thing he can think of to keep Leon in one spot for longer than a split second:

“I- I challenge you to a battle!” Raihan blurts, resisting the urge to facepalm. He wanted to say _hey, can we talk?_ But no. No, he had to say _that._

Well. At least a challenge to the region’s champion means Leon can’t leave right away. Not without like, losing face or something. Raihan forgets the details right now; he’s just trying to see his friend, finally.

A tall, blonde lady approaches Leon, saying something to him too quietly for Raihan to hear. Raihan tries to not shrink under the gazes of the crowd, ignoring their murmurs of excitement and disapproval. He _knows_ he’s not going through the proper channels to fight the champion. But he already did that once, and Leon is his _best friend,_ dammnit.

He manages to keep his back straight, waiting for Leon’s reply. Galar’s prodigy Champion Trainer finishes deliberating with whoever the woman is, taking a step towards Raihan, and then another, and another.

Raihan holds still, until Leon is standing a short distance from him, hands on his hips and cape swishing around his legs. The crowd holds its breath. Raihan holds his, too.

“I accept your challenge, trainer Raihan,” Leon announces in a voice which carries, all formal and everything.

“What the hell?” Raihan says, thankfully low enough no one else hears, but Leon does. His friend’s expression twitches for a second, but then The Champion is back, bright and proud and ready for a battle. Raihan’s understanding of things is tilting sideways.

-/-

They have their battle, right then and there, in front of everyone.

Raihan gets his ass handed to him. It _sucks._

Leon has always been the most talented in their friend group, that much is obvious. _Still._ Raihan is stunned how badly he gets slammed, his three pokemon fainting in succession one after another. Leon only uses _one_ the entire battle.

The experience is humiliating. Frustration, embarrassment, anger- it all boils up in Raihan for a long moment, nearing the surface and making him clench his bared teeth, glaring as his opponent casts a shadow over the field.

Raihan closes his eyes to that image. Breathes in, breathes out. He commits this moment to memory, and then… lets it go.

He opens his eyes and slouches, hands in his pockets and a sheepish smile on his face. “Good battle, dude,” Raihan says, accepting his defeat.

The crowd is cheering for Leon, talking about how his win was assured, really. A few people are giving Raihan pitying looks, for losing so publicly. Others seem annoyed that he’s interrupted- whatever was happening here, beforehand.

Raihan doesn’t acknowledge any of the stares. This isn’t about _them;_ this is about him and Leon. Now, at least, they can get a chance to talk. Raihan wants to, seriously, ‘cause the best way to get better at something is to fail. Whatever critique Leon has for him, Raihan is all ears.

Except, they don’t get a chance to talk. The crowd closes him out again, hiding Leon from sight. Raihan lingers, waiting for Leon to emerge, but he never does. Raihan keeps waiting, keeps trying to catch his friend’s eye, even as his injured pokemon in their balls weigh on his mind.

A car pulls up not long after. Leon is ushered into it by people presumably working for the chairman and the league. Raihan is left in the dust. Leon doesn’t look back even once.

The crowd begins dispersing, no one paying him much mind. Raihan very slowly processes things, wandering away towards the poke-center in a bit of a daze.

It’s not until that night, curled in bed with trapinch in his lap, that Raihan can parse what happened. Leon… left him behind. Without saying anything at all. Hasn’t sent a single text message, hasn’t phoned…

_Maybe he doesn’t have time for me anymore._

The hurtful thought settles heavy in Raihan’s chest. Sleep and cuddles with his pokemon do nothing to alleviate its weight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re sulking. Cut it out already.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey, back at this guy again.

“You’re sulking. Cut it out already.”

“I’m not _sulking._ I’m… ruminating.”

Nessa gives him an unimpressed glance. They’re in her backyard, spending time with their pokemon rather than doing real training. Good. Raihan isn’t in the mood for it.

“It’s your own fault,” Nessa informs him, eyes on her work with her recently evolved quagsire. “You challenged a champion out of the blue, with no preparation, in the middle of a public appearance. Everyone already knows what happened, so sulking around about your poor choices and wounded pride is pointless. Be productive. Learn from this.”

Each word is a stern, merciless arrow jabbed into Raihan. He groans, wishing the ground he’s laying on would swallow him up already.

“Don’t hold back or anything,” Raihan mumbles, patting trapinch absently as his pokemon nuzzles his hand, asking for attention.

Nessa laughs at him. Her words are kind of harsh, but Raihan knows she doesn’t mean any harm. Things are cut and dry, ironically, for his water-affinity friend. Which is why Nessa is doing upkeep on her pokemon after a heavy defeat by an older trainer, and Raihan is lying in the grass doing nothing.

It’s making him feel crappy, sort of inadequate, but every time he thinks about his pokemon training he’ll think of Leon, which leads to thinking about his defeat, which just loops Raihan back around to wanting to embrace grassy oblivion.

Sighing, resigned to continuing to exist in defeated misery, Raihan sits up to watch his friend. Nessa has on oversized gloves borrowed from her mom, along with a pair of fishing trousers. It looks silly, sitting on dryland like this, but she’s just taking the right precautions while she treats the minor skin parasite her pokemon picked up. While a trip to the poke-center fixes battle damage, sometimes medical treatment is still needed.

Raihan watches Nessa slather her slimy, toxic quagsire in topical cream. He thinks about how she’s putting in a 100% with her personal training, nearly every day. He thinks about how even with the speed which Nessa is gaining skill, it’s certain that she’d lose against Leon.

It makes Raihan wonder if their friend had been taking it easy on them, holding back in spars. The thought makes him scowl, insult curling in his stomach.

Nessa looks over at him. Raises an eyebrow. “Now you’re brooding.”

“So _what,”_ Raihan snaps bitterly.

Nessa doesn’t even blink, unfazed by his outburst.

Raihan deflates, letting out a harsh breath and rubbing his face. “Sorry. I’m not mad, just...” He doesn’t know what.

“It’s alright,” Nessa allows, going back to work. They don’t talk for a bit, mulling over their thoughts in silence.

Eventually, Raihan asks, “Hey, can we battle today? Like, for real. I wanna know what I can do to improve, and I know you won’t say stuff just to make me feel better.”

“I just finished applying BB’s cream.”

Blueberry warbles in agreement. Raihan tries again. “We can do two on two…?”

Nessa huffs, capping the tube of medicine. “Okay. But I get to pick the arena.”

Raihan will probably regret letting Nessa dictate the setting, but he doesn’t mind so much, since it’ll get stuff off his mind.

A few hours later, they’re sprawled on the damp shore of the lake. The wet ground doesn’t matter; they’re already both soaked to the bone, starting to shiver as the sun dips lower.

“You and _water,”_ Raihan says breathlessly. That last attack, which ended the battle, he swears almost drowned him.

“Yeah, me and water kicked your _butt,”_ Nessa retorts, elbowing him.

“Next time, we’re using like, a field or something.”

“Then you’ll be at an advantage.”

“Yeah. _Payback.”_

Nessa laughs, flicking her hand at him and getting mud on his face. Raihan hisses at the cold droplets- a habit he hasn’t managed to shake, being babysat by a sandaconda for so many years.

The ground is wet, uncomfortable, and growing steadily colder. They still linger for another few minutes, basking in the aftereffects of an intense battle. Raihan finally stands, pulling his friend up with him.

“Hey,” Nessa says, squeezing his hand and stopping him from pulling away. Her expression is sympathetic, and a little sad. “I get it. I miss him a lot, too.”

Nessa is cut and dry and doesn’t dance around a subject, and she knows him too well, seeing right to the center of his upset feelings. Raihan swallows around a lump that’s suddenly in his throat. He jerks a nod.

“We’ll see him again, yeah?” he says, less sure of those words than he means to be.

Nessa says they will. She doesn’t sound as certain as she usually does.

She lets go of his hand, and they trek back to her home, where her mother will laugh at their muddy appearance and insist they take baths, change into new clothes, and will later drive Raihan back to his home.

The weight of his emotions hasn’t gone away, but… it’s better, having confided in his friend.

-/-

Raihan doesn’t exactly _settle_ with his mixed feelings for his best friend, but he does manage to put them aside for the most part. Get on with his life and training, you know?

Time flies by, the seasons changing fast as Raihan’s life is. Sonia is sporadically everywhere and yet nowhere, neglecting training with them in favor of taking every chance she can to tag along with research teams. She’s always doing something new, studying something unfamiliar. Nessa is spending extended trips on her dad’s fishing boat, buckling down on her type specialization. She’s also offhandedly mentioned that a modeling scout approached her, not too long ago.

Leon is still absent but always present, his image plastered on every league advertisement. He hasn’t tried to contact any of them in months, and they haven’t really bothered to try, either.

Raihan hasn’t figured out which pokemon type he wants to focus on, and he hasn’t left the reach of Hammerlocke Castle, and no scouts are offering him contract deals. But he has upped the number of pokemon on his team and gotten two of the five to evolve. He’s growing faster than his moms can buy pants, he can run his hiking route without winding himself, and the sting of his defeat has become fuel for his determination.

His mama coaches him in battle techniques, when work is slow enough, so they can devote whole afternoons and evenings. _“Use your environment!”_ she encourages more than once. “You’re rarely going to have natural advantage, so learn how to _make_ the advantage happen.”

Before settling down, Raihan knows his mama went on many, many far flung travels. Backpacking, with just her pokemon for company. He takes her advice on utilizing the environment, recalling stories of how the tactic greatly aided her in the past.

“You’re both putting our water bill through the roof,” his mom tuts at them whenever they return, sand and dirt worked into their hair and clothes. Mama laughs, bending to remind mom of _her_ youthful misadventures and training, and Raihan runs for the bathroom before they start kissing right in front of him. _Mom-squishiness,_ _gross._

It’s in the next year after Leon becomes champion- months after Raihan loses to him- that he feels confident enough with his progress to give it another shot.

Even Nessa admits he’s gotten way better, and she doesn’t sugar-coat things. Their battles and spars are split in even wins and losses, a fifty-fifty chance on either end. Raihan knows this is a good way to measure his advancements; Nessa is _tenacious_ in battle, with a long string of opponents through neighboring towns that she’s beaten. If she thinks he’s doing well, then Raihan is on the right path.

It doesn’t stop him from feeling nervous, working up to challenging the Galar Champion again.

-/-

Before the day arrives, Nessa looks him in the eye and says, “There’s a strong chance you’ll lose.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Raihan drawls.

Nessa shrugs. “Sonia gave you a pep talk yesterday; I’m being the realist for you.” Her expression suddenly becomes a wicked smile, close lipped and sharp. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to give him hell.”

Raihan lets out a surprised laugh. “Jeez, Nessa.”

His friend just keeps smiling. “And tell him, sooner than later, I’ll be challenging him, too. The real battle starts then.”

“ _Jeez,_ Nessa.”

They bicker good-naturedly about their tallies against each other. It alleviates some of the tension for him, gifted the mental image of Nessa dousing Leon in muddy water like she has Raihan way, way too many times.

Soon enough, Raihan’s managed to get a challenge request through to Leon. Or, to whoever the person is that he talks to when he calls the league. He receives an email with a formal acceptance of his challenge, later in the night. There’s a part of it that mentions he’s only getting this chance because the champion is pushing for it, that he should be grateful, and so on.

Raihan reads and rereads that part in the dark of his room. Leon wants to battle him. Leon _wants_ to battle him.

After year of next to no contact, the realization still manages to stir hopeful warmth in his chest.

-/-

They’re in the off-season for foreign trainers, the time of year most will circle back to their hometowns to rest. Contests in the region have all concluded, and while the league’s gyms remain open, they’re typically empty of challengers.

It’s probably for the best, Raihan entering a stadium that’s basically empty. There’s only employees present, and… Leon.

_He’s taller,_ Raihan thinks immediately, stepping onto the field and catching sight of Leon across it, able to tell even from afar. The stupid velvet cape is still present, as eccentric and grandstanding as ever. It accentuates the way Leon’s shoulders have gotten bigger- _better to bear his crown,_ Raihan internally comments, with no small amount of sarcasm.

Raihan is spindly with new growth, all his muscle wiry. The solidness of how Leon carries himself is just another thing that bothers him about the situation.

As they walk to meet one another at the arena’s center, Raihan finally notices they have an audience. The blonde woman, from last time, and Chairman Rose. Both are watching him with cool, unreadable gazes. Raihan puts their presence out of his mind, coming to a stop in front of his friend.

“Trainer Raihan,” Leon greets with a blinding smile, holding out his hand and once again highly formal. Raihan almost takes it to shake, albeit gingerly, but then Leon says, “I’m very glad you agreed to this match- there’s few trainers in the region skilled enough to be a practice partner for me.”

Raihan cannot believe his ears.

“ _Practice?”_ he exclaims incredulously.

Leon’s bright expression falters, a frown appearing. “…Yes? The chairman graciously arranged things for us, since it’s beneficial to your growth and maintaining my peak condition. It’s… supposed to be a mutual thing.”

He barely hears Leon’s wavering certainty. His blood is rushing to his cheeks and in his ears. Raihan grits his teeth, fists clenching. He doesn’t get truly angry, hardly ever, but this? _This?_

He snaps his glare to the chairman in his box seats. He _burns_ with the desire to throw this insult of a match back in their faces; storm out of here to vent his frustrations in the woods. But. A match is still a match. No matter how much it feels like he’s being _mocked._

Raihan takes a breath in. Tries to calm down. Still, he can’t quite keep the growl out of his tone as he says, “I won’t hold back. Not for a second.”

“I-” Leon starts, but Raihan turns and stalks away before he says something stupid. He’s not going to lose his cool in front of these people- his pride is bruised enough as it is.

He palms a pokeball from his pocket, feeling the weight grow in his hand as he readies to throw. Leon, across the field, has done similarly. The countdown begins, too slow for the rate Raihan’s heart thunders to.

He’s winding up before the buzzer sounds, throwing out his A-game pokemon right off the bat, he’s so _pissed off_ by this whole thing. _“Vibrava!”_

“ _Charmeleon!”_ Leon calls.

The pokeball returns to Raihan’s palm, and he slashes his arm through the air as he shouts, “Vibrava- _sand tomb.”_

His first and most trusted pokemon launches herself at Leon’s charmeleon. The dust and grit the fight kicks up does nothing to deter Raihan’s fixed gaze on his opponent.

-/-

It’s over before he knows it.

A total failure. Utter defeat. _Again._ Shame fills him as Raihan struggles to stay on his feet, hands shaking in fists as he chokes on the swell of emotion.

Damn. _Damn._ Leon used more than one pokemon this time, but only because he _felt_ like switching them out. Neither of the two took anything worse than surface damage. Raihan’s pokemon struggled, fought, listened to his calls of direction without hesitation. And they lost _completely._

Raising his eyes from the turf, Raihan meets the gaze of Galar’s reigning champion. It’s less of a surprise than he would have thought, finding that he can’t read his long-time friend’s expression.

Leon takes a step towards him, and Raihan takes one back.

They used to call each other rivals. Friends still, of course, but also the equal pushing the other forwards, spurring their progress on. How can Raihan call himself that anymore?

Chairman Rose has come down from the stands, moving to Leon’s side before he can make it too far. The hand he places on Leon’s shoulders stops him from walking any further.

Frustration clenches Raihan’s chest, vicelike and hot. He tries to swallow it down, keep to the guidelines of trainer conduct. His moms raised him to think before he acts, to consider his response before he makes one.

But Raihan just can’t do that right now.

“ _I’ll be back!”_ he shouts, ignoring how his voice strains, threatening to crack. He doesn’t say _good battle,_ doesn’t try to approach Leon for pointers on where he can improve, doesn’t try talking to the person he thought was his best friend about just _why_ Leon has stayed so apart from him.

Raihan turns on his heel and leaves the stadium as quickly as he can. If he rubs at his eyes as he does, well, that’s his god damn business and no one else’s, least of all _Leon’s._

-/-

“It’s not your fault,” he tells vibrava, later on, when it’s just them in the woods out near his home. Vibrava hums in his lap, wings stirring in agitation. She’s still wired from the loss earlier; Raihan just feels exhausted.

The second he enters the cottage, his moms will know what happened, and- he’s just not ready. He doesn’t want to face their sympathetic looks or firm hugs, because they’ll try to talk to him about this, and Raihan doesn’t _want_ to talk about it.

He lived it once- _twice-_ before, his sorry losses to Leon. Rehashing it for others just feels even worse.

“You guys did awesome,” he tells vibrava, stroking her exoskeleton, even as her mandibles clicking silently, visibly upset. “I couldn’t ask for a better team than you, alright? You all fought so, so hard, and I’m really proud of you.” He sighs. “ _I’m_ the one who screwed up at some point. I need to improve my battle skills and strategy; you guys deserve someone better.”

Vibrava hums short and loud, clambering up his chest and clutching closely, wings folded and tail wrapping the side of his ribs. Raihan carefully hugs her, beyond grateful to have such an amazing partner.

“I’ll make myself better,” he promises softly. “I swear, I’ll prove just how great a team you are. I’ll show _all_ of them that we’re not just practice opponents- we’re _champions_.”

Vibrava hums, tail twitching tighter. Raihan chooses to interpret it as a firm agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments? comments for a starving author?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, if you’re going to drop a bomb on us like that, then I guess it doesn’t make much difference if I do so too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BLM & ACAB. not to be black and white about the subject (haha) but current sociopolitical events have boiled down to 'you're either with us or against us'. neutral silence has never helped the oppressed, only the oppressors. it is aiding and abetting systemic bigotry, plain and simple. -sincerely an indigenous nb lesbian.
> 
> anyway, hi. read some cute swsh comics on tumblr and remembered this exists and i wanna finish it at some point. if things feel slightly disjointed or like, shifty in tone, it's cause i wrote the first lil bit of this months ago and then forgot about it. also didn't like, super closely edit some of this bc. i'm tired. there was an attempt though. and this is mostly a chapter to get me to the scenes i Really want to write.

“I… have an announcement to make,” Sonia says, a few weeks after his second defeat.

The hesitant tone she has makes both Raihan and Nessa pause. The three of them are wrapping up a joint training session, discussing whether or not Raihan can drag them both over to his place for dinner. Yamper circles Sonia’s legs as her silence drags out, whining and panting.

“…What is it?” Nessa asks carefully, eyeing their friend. Raihan tilts his head, slouching out of a stretch and shoving his hands into his hoodie’s pocket.

Sonia looks apologetic, but there’s a calm certainty in her gaze. In the late afternoon sun, her hair shines bright copper, strands loose from her ponytail brushing her flushed cheeks. In years to come, it’s one of the things that will stay with Raihan.

“I’m going to stop training,” Sonia says, hands wringing themselves. “I’ve… put a lot of thought into it, and I don’t think I have the same kind of interest as you two do. I... I have things to live up to, with my family. The sort of work I want to do isn’t going to require I’m a master trainer, but it _will_ require I dedicate almost all my time to it. I’m sorry.”

Raihan’s mouth is slack with shock, he never would have guessed Sonia felt that way. Then again, she’d never get as invested as the rest of them, but she’d also never slacked off completely…

Sonia never does things in half-measures, though. Even things she’s picked up in passing. Raihan just never imagined being a pokemon trainer would be one of those passing interests.

Nessa shifts next to him, her step loud in the hush that’s fallen over them. Raihan risks a glance at her expression. It surprises him almost as much as Sonia’s announcement. He rarely sees that kind of naked emotion on Nessa’s face, her shoulders tensed, then slumping.

“You’re sure?” Nessa asks.

Sonia nods, eyes turning glossy. “Yeah. I’m so, so sorry, really. But I know I’m going to follow a different path than you two.” She smiles, warm and sad. “You’re both so talented. You’re _incredible._ I know you’re going to become amazing people, someday, and I can’t wait to see it.” A soft inhale, then, “And I’m okay with watching from the sidelines.”

Nessa’s face pinches, mouth screwed up as her eyes water. Raihan feels a little breathless, eyes stinging the same way.

“You better watch us, then,” Nessa croaks, shaking with how firm she’s trying to keep her stance. “Don’t look away even for a second, okay? Not _one_ _second.”_

Sonia laughs wetly. “Of course not! I couldn’t look away even if I wanted to.”

“ _Sonia,”_ Raihan manages thickly, and Nessa breaks away from his side to launch herself at their friend. Their stoic friend clutches Sonia tight as possible, hiccupping into her shoulder as they make further promises about the future. Raihan doesn’t waste another moment standing alone, joining the hug and wrapping both girls in his lanky arms.

Nessa doesn’t even complain that he gets snot on her braids. Dinner, later in his cottage, is a bittersweet ending to their last day as a proper trio, and the beginning of a still forming future.

-/-

It keeps Raihan up at night, thinking about himself and his losses to Leon.

He doesn’t feel like he’s going to improve any further with his current training. It hasn’t happened yet, but Raihan can feel the stagnation coming. Between himself and Nessa, they’ve gone through all the local same-age trainers, and any older ones that will agree to a battle. He’s done the gyms already; he’s challenged the champion _twice._

And now what?

Most trainers will move onto a new region, once they reach this stage. Enter into a new league competition, fight foreign pokemon and trainers. The alternative is to stop here, settle down and start the search for an education or job.

Raihan can’t even imagine giving it up. The way his pulse races in a battle, how the adrenaline ignites in him- he feels truly alive when he’s in an arena, the bond to his pokemon thrumming with energy as they fight with everything they have. No. He can’t give that up just because he’s ended up in a rut.

Especially since he still hasn’t beaten Leon. Raihan doesn’t think he’ll be able to rest until he has.

The trick is figuring out _how_ to do that, when his growth has slowed like this. Admittedly… he’s scared to leave his home, and it’s causing him to shy away from the option of other leagues. But short of charging off into the wild areas, which is kind of insane, what other choice does he have?

Raihan thinks in discontented circles, unable to decide. After days spent mulling over it all, he eventually caves and asks for help.

He’s tagging along with his moms to a dig, watching from a safe distance above the pit so he doesn’t disturb anything. Sediment is lazily sunning himself next to him, just like old times. Raihan runs his thumb over the smooth scales of the pokemon, smiling when a tongue flickers out and brushes against his folded knees. He glances up at the partly-cloudy sky and knows he’s procrastinating again; he meant to talk with his moms last night, and then this morning, but…

It would be all too easy to just lay back and nap with Sediment. It’s _technically_ his day off from training, regardless of said training’s futility. The smooth but hurried approach of a dark shadow persuades him to resist slothfulness.

The creature casting the long shadow is his other mom’s pokemon, a runerigus she called _Alsghyr_ , ‘little one’ of all things. It was a more appropriate name before evolution, as a yamask. Raihan has never found the collection of floating stone to be intimidating, but he can very clearly remember other children shrieking in terror when a display in Hammerlocke suddenly _moved._ He’d laughed every time his school took a fieldtrip to the castle, at least one of his classmates falling for Alsghyr’s trick.

Leon had gone right up to the ghost-ground pokemon and stared with open awe, already asking Raihan a dozen questions about this unfamiliar being. The one most fervent: _who is its trainer?_ Raihan replied she was his mom’s. _Which mom?_ Leon had laughed. _You have two!_

The memory leaves a hollow feeling behind, Raihan’s mouth tugging downwards at the corners. The gentle prod between his shoulder blades draws him out of his thoughts, Raihan looking upwards. Alsghyr is giving him a concerned stare- as concerned as possessed stone can look, anyway.

“I’m fine,” he says with a tired exhale. “Just daydreaming.” An arm is held out to him to grab, shadowy appendages carefully curled in on themselves. Alsghyr, for however spooky she may be, can be as sweet as his mom. How can he refuse?

Once the runerigus carefully sets down its assigned parcel- a cushioned bin full of excavated artifacts- Raihan slides down the incline to the pit below. Other archaeologists and researchers (and longsuffering grad students) don’t pay him mind as he traipses into their midst; they all know his moms well enough to know _Raihan_ knows how to treat a dig site. Alsghyr leads him to the far end of the site, where his moms are fussing over a map with coworkers; deciding whether or not to expand the dig.

“Mom? Mama?” Raihan asks quietly, tapping his mama’s shoulder. The taller of his parents glances over her shoulder, smiling but motioning him to give her a minute. His mom meanwhile, quickly excusing herself, steps away from the foldout table to speak with him nearby.

Evidence of today’s hard work dusts her hijab and clothing, along with sweat beading her brow, but Raihan’s mom is as smiling and perky as she’d been in the early morning. “Do you need something? Lunch isn’t too far off if you’re feeling hungry, you could start without us.”

Raihan shakes his head. “No, it’s, um… I mean it could wait, but I wanna ask one of you while I’ve got the focus. I keep… putting it off.”

“Something the matter, hon?” his mom asks, taking his hands in hers. Her palms are warm and calloused, small but strong as they squeeze. “I know you’ve been acting a bit… out of sorts, since Sonia stopped training with you and Nessa.”

“It’s not that- mostly,” Raihan adds on, amending. “It’s…” He hesitates, questions heavy in his throat, all jangled up by his uncertainty and nerves. He looks at their hands instead of his mom’s eyes, unable to meet them yet.

His color is like his mama’s, richly dark, and if he cupped his big palms together, they’d nearly hide the sun-bronzed tawny of hers. He’s taller than her, just about, and given how tall her wife is… Raihan’s mom will be comparatively tiny in not too long. It feels like vertigo, realizing that, as casual as the thought comes to him.

“Raihan?” asks his mama, joining their little huddle. She wraps a long arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. “Hey, little man. You’re looking pretty down right now- somethin’ the matter?”

His mom rubs circles with her thumbs against his palms. Their voices are lowered, the two of them shielding him from prying eyes of the dig, but not so thoroughly that he wouldn’t be able to pull away whenever he pleased.

His moms have always been great about giving him space as well as close comfort. A part of Raihan can’t imagine going even a single day without this affection- a much larger part knows he can’t tail them through the halls of Hammerlocke Castle and the woods forever.

Raihan licks his lips anxiously, and asks.

-/-

His going away party is a small affair- just his family and two best friends. Raihan refuses to let himself glance at a stool in the living room; the one they always needed to bring into the kitchen in order to have enough seats. It remains empty in its corner the whole evening.

From the point of asking his parents for advice about what to do, to the eventual day he’s packing his bags, he and his friends have to confront a number of uncomfortable subjects. Specifically, ones about their future and what it means for their friendship.

Truth be told, it’d been creeping up on them steadily. None of the outright acknowledged it excluding Sonia, who saw the split in the road and chose her own path before anyone else. Sonia is brave and brilliant- she’s going to do amazing things, that much Raihan and Nessa can firmly agree on. Sonia is going to be buried up to her eyes in projects sooner than later- worse than she is _now-_ and knowing their friend’s tendency to just _keep_ _picking up interests,_ _Sonia seriously,_ who can guess when she’ll dig herself out enough to have a life outside of academics?

At least… she’ll be here, in their hometown, all the while Raihan and Nessa migrant elsewhere. He reads between the lines of Sonia happy encouragements and enthusiasm for her own studies- he sees she’s sad, that she feels left behind by everyone else. Raihan has to look away; there’s not much he can do, not if they all want to pursue their dreams.

Nessa, of the three of them, is going to end up travelling the furthest for now. She’s secured a modeling contract, the agency hinting unsubtly that she’d have better chances at popularity in a denser region than Galar. It’s a seaside city, of course populated with many varieties of water type pokemon; the tourist industry is big enough to warrant several tournaments happening throughout the year. It’s practically screaming Nessa’s name.

But the time it’ll take to establish herself as a model could be… years. They all swear to stay in contact, text every day- but there’s a sinking feeling in Raihan’s stomach he can’t quite ignore. The forgotten promises made by their old friend are old wounds, nowadays. Though he wants desperately to trust explicitly, Raihan doubts.

Feeling unable to summon that kind of true faith is a disheartening experience. Raihan smiles lazy and content instead of grimacing; watching the rain shimmer in a sun-shower overhead, Nessa and Sonia leaned against the same wall as him. Waiting for the storm to pass by so they can resume their last day out together.

Raihan is going to have to get used to being caught out in similar weather. His ultimate decision has been a compromise between staying home and roaming other regions: he’s going on a training trip. In the wild areas.

The moment he chose to tell his friends- two weeks prior to the going away party- had unfortunately been when Sonia was swallowing a bite of chips and Nessa was sipping her drink. Sonia nearly dies choking; Nessa coughed hoarsely before giving him a flat stare.

“You’re not allowed to die a stupid death,” she informs him, tone leaving no room for argument. “If I find out you got tossed off a cliff by a mankey or, or caught rabies from a scorbunny, I _will_ disrespect upon your grave.”

“I think it’s dancing upon my grave,” Raihan points out weakly, leaning away from his friend’s unwavering stare.

“I don’t dance in public,” Nessa says, deadpan. “I would, however, list your many dumb life choices for anyone and everyone to hear.”

“She’s- she’s just worried,” Sonia translates through her hacking. “Hiking through wild areas is-” Nessa hands Sonia her cup of soda, which she takes gratefully. “What I mean is, even experienced trainers can run into real danger out in wild areas. It’s no easy feat, taking on a challenge like that.”

“I’m ready,” Raihan states, sitting up straighter. “I have to be. There’s… there’s nothing around here anymore that could challenge me the same way. And I’m, maybe, not _quite_ ready to travel to a whole new region…”

“Still,” Sonia sighs, but doesn’t try to convince him to change his mind. Raihan gives her a smile, which is returned.

Nessa huffs. “Well, if you’re going to drop a bomb on us like that, then I guess it doesn’t make much difference if I do so too.”

And it all leads up to the morning Raihan hefts his backpack and hugs his moms goodbye. He has their blessing as well as trust- they _believe_ in his ability to accomplish this, and it means more to him than he can put into words. Even if they insist, he takes one of their pokemon as a precaution- Sediment, because for however lazy the old sandaconda is, his fangs are sharp as ever.

It’s been too long since he felt like this, energized by motivation and a _goal._ The dread of falling into stagnation has melted away in the frantic preparation for his trip; it’s only now that it’s gone that Raihan notices how _heavy_ those fears had been.

His training trip’s objective: to last a full two weeks on his own, resupply at a small town between the borders of wild areas, and then last three more weeks.

Raihan is buzzing with excited anxiety, leaving his home and heading into the sprawling moors and forests of Galar. Vibrava hums in figure-8s above his head, the first of his pokemon to be released as they trek deeper into uninhabited land. It’s some hours later in the day, as he stands on the border of the truly wild landscape in Galar, that Raihan rolls his pokeballs into his hands and smoothly expands them one by one.

His team lands on the ground in a semi-circle, stretching legs and wings in the midafternoon sun. Vibrava settles on his sweaty shoulders, pleased to have her favorite perch back with the backpack on the ground. Bright, eager eyes look to Raihan for explanation, for the next step in their plan.

Raihan smiles, petting his vibrava with one hand as he launches into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic's story dynamic is hope-defeat-hope-defeat and so on and its entirely raihan's fault.
> 
> sidenotes: since i haven't found a way to smoothly talk about it within the story, i just wanted to explicitly state that 1) raihan's mom is muslim, and 2) raihan's mama is a transgender woman. they're both lesbians and he is their biological son. i am giving everyone the benefit of doubt to not end with me deleting stupid comments. also in case anyone wants to shame me for it, yeah i know i need to properly name the moms. i feel bad for putting it off so long and just calling them 'raihan's cool lesbian moms' in my brain. plot easy, character names,,, not so much (- -;;)
> 
> stay safe out there folks, wear your masks PROPERLY (OVER BOTH THE NOSE AND THE MOUTH, DO NOT REMOVE IT TO SPEAK OR EAT WHILE OUT AND ABOUT, DON'T TOUCH IT OR YOUR FACE AT ALL), and with whatever events you partake in i wish you best of luck <333

**Author's Note:**

> i dunno shit about pokemans


End file.
